Prayer Request: Things are About to Blow

In just over six months I graduate for the University of Arkansas at Monticello. I will be a college graduate. So what, may you ask, is the problem?

I have no clue what I am going to do after this time of my life is over.

I know that God has something huge for me. And I am ready to go to where ever he is calling me, but the thing is I have no clue where I am headed.

The fall of 2004 was when I got to Monticello. There is no doubt that this is where God wanted me, and he has made that apparently clear. But he has also made it clear that I do not need to stay here.

These last few months I have been trying to figure out what God has for me next. Where do I go? What am I going to do when I get there? How am I going to get there? These are the questions that I can't seem to get any more light on. There are many opportunities, but there can only be one descision.

Last night might have been the start of something huge. At first I tried to ignore it, but the more that I wrap it around my brain, the more that I think that it is a huge possibility. We are on the verge of something huge, and I want to be right in the middle of it when it happens.

I might be going to BOSTON.

Pray for me, Travis, Jack, Karen and Micheal. Pray that God will make it apparently clear what we are to do about this. Pray that if it's not us, that God will raise up those who are supposed to go. And more than anything, pray that God will prepare the hearts of those in Boston for whoever he sents.

Boston get Ready!

We Need to Get Our Passion Back

Passion- any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling

Man can we get passionate at football games. When our team scores a touchdown, we scream and holler. When the refs call bad calls on our team, we usually start yelling at them because they didn’t see what we saw. When our tam gets behind, it takes all that we have to not get down on the field to play ourselves. And I can’t even begin to explain that felling that you get when your team wins the game that they weren’t supposed to win. All this for a football game, that, in three years, will have no significance.

Why aren’t we this passionate about the works of God. Why do we stay silent when someone makes a life change? Why, when the spirit moves us, can we not lift our hands and shout for what God is doing in our life? How can we just sit back and watch and not want to join in?

We need to reevaluate what our passions are. We need to get out of the “I have to” mind set and get in to the “I get to” mind set. In a schedule centered society we need to break the mold and start to do things that we want to do. Because it means so much more to someone when you get to give them a gift than when you have to give them a gift.

GET PASSIONATE!!!

Sold Out For Real?

The last time I was on a high dive, I was scared out of my mind. I was in Scropenaria, Greece and I was on a plank 14 feet above the Agean Sea. The water was so clear you could see all the way to the bottom. With my knees buckling I had a descision to make,

Was I complety sold on the Idea of jumping, because once I jumpped, I was going in.

I am ready to see a change on this campus. I am ready to see a banner fly high:

"ONE Race, ONE King, ONE Kingdom"

In order for this to work, everyone has to be completely sold out for the idea. Just saying it and not doing anything about it won't change anything. But more that doing something, we have to change ourselves and be willing for the plunge.

The thing is we can not jump and then expect not to land. Once we take off, its final (and there is no going back). To unify this campus we all have to be willing to change and we all have to be completely sold out to jump. And the reward is so worth the fall.

After finaly jumping off that plank and landing in the water I was so refreshed. The water was nice and cool after a long day of work. I was sold out for what I was going to recieve from it.

I am sold out for this campus. The question is:

WHO WILL JOIN ME IN THIS JUMP?

A Break in the Clouds

The thing about storm is that they do not last forever. Eventually you will get to point when for a stint of time (even if only a quick stint) there is a break in the clouds and you get a chance to breathe.





I have been fighting a storm for a while now, but I think that I am finally seeing a break in the clouds. It doesn't necisarilly mean that i am out of the storm, it is just a time for me to think about things that have happened and see what I need to do to make the next line of clouds not hit as hard.

When we make it through a storm, we tend to use the time after to rebuilt what was broken and then let it be. But what we need to do is not only rebuild, but build it stronger and firmer than it was before. That way it is harder for the storm to damage the structure next time. I have been guilty of only rebuilding, but not strengthening it. Therfore the next storm comes and the same damage is done.

I have a break in the clouds, I need to do some reinforcing.

A Hard Fight

On this road of life, why aren't there ever any road sighs that say:

"Danger: Road out ahead" or

"Do not Enter" or

"Dead End"

This has been the hardest week that I have had since getting back from Greece and I am so glad that it is over, but I can already tell that this coming week is going to be just as hard if not harder. I wish there was a way that time could stop and I could just get a break. Time to just stop and really think about what is going on.

"We need to fight for joy"

I hear these words from Rob almost every day. I want to do this very thing, fight for joy. But joy is so hard to come by right now. I am fighting for joy, but it isn't getting here. I am stuck in this state of just getting through every day and I am a wreck inside. Why does the fight have to be so hard. And right now I am fighting what seems to be a losing battle. The thing is, I really don't know how to change the tide. Satan is attacking and I can't keep this fight up too much longer.

Back in Action

So, I am finally back in the saddle and going to start blogging again. My Greece blog will soon have many excerpts from my journal that I kept all summer (along with pictures) to kind of give everyone an idea of what my summer was like.

I hope that you enjoy.

No Updates all Summer

So I leave my house in about six hours (yeah to excited to sleep) to head on my mission trip overseas. With internet access being so limited this summer I won't be able to update this blog during the summer.

However if I get a chance I will update my Greece blog

Catch you in August.

Fun With Becca...Before I Leave

So I got a call from Becca Routt (aka Hooks) this morning and she told me that she was going to be in Texarkana. She asked if I wanted to hang out and so the fun began

It all started by going and picking her up at the optomitrist where her aunt had an appointment. Right away she showed me her new camera and the picutre taking commenced. The first one was while we were stopped at a red light for what seemed like forever.


Becca was so facinated by the multicolored fire hydrants that we heav in Texarkana and Just had to snap a shot of one of them

And I couldn't just let Becca have all the fun, so Itook the camera from her and took pictures of myself while waiting at yet another stop light.

This is probably the biggest flag in Texarkana and it is flying high at Regions bank where Becca had to stop by and make a deposit.

And while driving back to her aunt, we passed a school bus, and you know that we just had to get a picture of it (Becca did such a good job with this one)

We had a great hour and a half together. We stopped by Rue 21 and Becca got a couple of new shirts and then we went to Cold Stone Creamery (the best ice cream ever).

We did get some bad news today though. Our friend Tim is joining the National Gaurd and he is not coming back to school in the fall. It makes us so sad that we won;t have him to hang out with and stuff. I won't even get to see him before he leaves for basic because he leaves on the 14th of August and I don't get back from Greece until the 16th. I am so Sad.

I GOT MY PASSPORT!!!!!

Its finally here and I am so glad to have that stress over with...now its just a matter of getting the rest of my money...

Passport is Coming (in theory)

So I am now about eleven days away from leaving for Greece and even though I am still short when it comes to the finances, nothing will happen if I don't get my passport. Well I talked to the National Passport Information people and they told me that it was in the final stage and that I should get it within the week. So keep praying.

The finance thing is still a prayer request. This weekend I am having a garage/bake sale to try and make money. But keep this in your prayers.

Preparing for Rain

I bet a lot of you (if not all of you) have seen the movie Facing the Giants. Well I loved the movie. And even though there are a lot of great quotes to choose from here is my favorite:

"If you're gonna pray for rain, you have to prepare the field"

So I am going to prpare my field for the rain that I know that God has in store, and this is how I am going to do it. Over the last month I have been raising money for my mission trip to Greece. To date, I have a little over $1000. Which means I am about $2000 short. But after talking to Rob yesterday and praying about it, I have come up with this: If 200 people are willing to donate $10, I will have $2000 in no time. I am preparing for a rain that I know God will send.

If you are willing to be one of the 200, contact me at hawkspg@aol.com or leave me a comment on here and I will get in touch with you on how to go about making your donation.

I have prayed for rain and prepared my field, now the rest is up to God.

PS- If you have any questions you can call me at (870) 723-7707

Harmony...

Harmony [hahr-muh-nee]- 1. agreement, accord 2. a constant, orderly, or pleasing arangement of parts.

When you look at the word harmony what is the first thing that comes to your mind? To me it is music. So when Peter says "live together in harmony" I really didn't know how to relate what I know about harmony in music to harmony in life, until this morning.

In music there is no such thing as a bad note, there are only good note that are played at the wrong time. When right notes are played at the right time, it creates what we call harmony. Harmonies make a piece of music sound amazing. But one thing about harmony is that sometimes, not all the intruments are playing to create these harmonies. Sometimes it is the instrument that usually sit in the background that gets to stand out for one shining moment and take the lead. Sometime, all the instruments are playing and that just makes the harmony that much more.

In some music, there is what we call disonence. Disonence is when you tak a normal chord and you raise or drop one of the pitched of that chord to create a not so pleasant sound. Sometimes disonence is on purpose, and the main reason for disonence is to make the harmony after to sound that much better, and relieving.

Why the lesson you might ask? Well christianity is almost the same way. We are to life in harmony with one another. Sometimes this calls those who normaly take the lead, to stand back and let a background player come to the fore front every once in a while. Sometimes, the normal leaders are to take the lead with what they are given. Sometimes harmony calls us all to be silent. Disonence (disagreements) will happen, but it makes the resolution that much better.

We need to "live together in harmony."

04-16-07: A Tribute

Silence

Tragedy

Calm

Fear

Community

Horror

Heroism

So many feelings, not enough words to describe them all.

To the families of the 32 victims, my thoughts and prayers are with you.

To the many students and falculty who are going to return to campus on Monday, you too are in my prayers. I can't begin to imagine what its going to be like, but stay strong and take it a day at a time.

To everyone who has been glued to the television watching it unfold, keep Virginia Tech in your prayers. And if and when someone talks to you about it, don't be afraid to talk back.

GO HOAKIES!!!

I've Been Hiding

So I have been fasting from bloging for the first two weeks of April and I am back. If you will notice on the right hand side of this blog, there is a new link called Greece. This is my blog for my trip this summer to (where else) Greece. I am going to use this new blog to talk about preparations for the trip, and hopefully I will be able to update every once and a while this summer while I am there.

I want to use my Greece blog to give my prayer supporters here at home some prayer fuel for me in my preparation and for me while on the field.

Now my Greece blog will in no way take place of this blog, but while gone this summer, the Greece blog will be my primary blog.

Making a Game out of Worship

When I go to baseball games I go crazy. I have my favorite players, my favorite teams, and I act like I have something to do with the outcome (no matter if it is a win or a loss). The bast games are those one in a million where you get to see one of your favorite players (or any player for that matter) break a record or reach a career milestone. You join in the player's emotions of happyness and completion, and you feel (as a fan) that you played a major role in theie success.

How is it that we can get so serious about a game and can't get serious about worship? I can't remember all the times that I went into a worship time half heartedly, and I hate saying that (but I'm coming clean). I don't want to be that way anymore. I want to worship God with everything that I have and with all that I am. I hate the feeling that I get when I know that I could have done better. It is time to stop playing around with worship and take it seriously for a change.

The picture above is of Rafiel Palmeiro getting his 3000 hit at Safeco Field. I was there and it was awesome.

What I've Learned in My 21 Years

I am now officially 21 and I have got to say, I never thought I would make it this far. If anyone would have told me that I would be sitting in my dorm room posting on your blog on your 21st birthday, I would have told them:

"What's a blog?"

Anyway, I have been thinking a lot this week about what i have learned over the past 21 years and I have come up with a list:

1. Be Happy! Nothing is worth getting worked up over.

2. God only gave us one mouth, but he gave us two ears.

3. When someone says duck, they usually aren't talking about the thing with feathers.

4. The only difference between ordinary and extraordinary is the little extra.

5. Sleep is a gift, do it as often as possible.

6. "No" is not a bad word, use it when needed.

7. There is no reason to worry, your parents do it enough for you.

8. If you can't stand the heat, stay off the field.

9. That there is a $550 fine for not having proof of insurance when you get pulled over in the state of Washington.

10. Your real friends stick with you when you are at your worst (and it is not always a pretty picture.

11. No matter what happens, God is always with me.

12. If you fall asleep chewing gum, you better be ready for a hair cut.

13. Orange fights are the best way to get loose before a game.

14. Water boils at 212, don't stand at 211.

21 years of life, and I am still learning. I am blessed to have had people come into my life to teach me how to live. So thanks to all who have contributed to my life lessons. And I promise that there are many many more, I just couldn't write them all down.

I'M 21 TODAY!!!

I'm Going To Greece

Yes, you read it right, I am going to Greece this summer on a mission trip. This has kind of been a decision that I have come to in the last month. I wasn't really sure what I was going to do this summer (whether to take classes or to go on a mission trip has been my debate lately). Finally I desided to just let the Lord handle it and as soon as I did that, he came in fast. I got a call yesterday from the Edge (the group I am going with). Jessica gave me my interview over the phone and by the end of the conversation, I was placed on the Greece Team.

I will be based in Athens (right outside Athens) and an encampment. I will be on the Camp staff and help with lifeguarding, music, drama and other everyday camp tasks. My team will meet on June 10 in Chicago for our oreintation. After about four days we will fly out together to Athens. We will be overseas for about nine weeks. We will fly back together for a debriefing time in Orlando. Then I will Fly into Little Rock on August 16. (after that I am not quite sure, I will either come straight to Monticello for Summer band, or I will go home to Texarkana for a day or two and then come to Monticello.)

I am really excited about this. I really feel that this is where God is calling me and I know that he will provide for it. Right now, my grandparents are not 100% for me going. I ask that ya'll (my faithful readers) pray for me and my family for patience and for wisdom in this time.

I'M GOING TO GREECE!!!

Commission is Blind...

I have come to the realization that people who work on commission will say anything to sell you something.

Case in point:

I went shopping with a couple of friends for my birthday (my birthday really isn't until Friday). I was wearing my camo capris and a UAM Intramurals Champion shirt (this will come into play later).

My friens and i had been walking around the mall and descided to go into Dillards to see what they had. I found the cutest top and thought that i should try it on. To the dressing room I went, followed in tow by Jamie and Nancy. I tried on the top and came to show the girls (remember that I am wearing my camo pants)

"How does it look guys?"

"Not really sure," came their reply,"turn around."

That was when I saw the sales person kinda evesdropping into our converation. So I thought that I would play with her mind a little.

"The best thing about it Jamie, is that the top goes great with these pants."

The sales person tried to hide her shock and then stated that she never would have thought to put the two together, but that it looked "alright". To which I then told her that I wore those pants into the store and that I was only kidding.

THE BIGGEST LOOK OF RELIEF CAME TO HER FACE. I wish I would have taken a picture because it was hilarious.

But it got me to thinking. She would have sold me that outfit, even though she thought it looked hidious. I guess commission is blind.

Don't Want to be Just Hot Water

Let's see how good your memory is from seventh grade science class. Your question is:

At what temperature does water boil?

If you said at 212 degrees, you would be correct. Now:

What happens to water at 211 degrees?

Absolutely nothing. At 211 degrees, water is just hot. It is absolutely useless. But when it gets boiling, water is a very useful tool.

Why do you ask am I giving you a science lesson? Because most of us are just hot water when it comes to spirituallity. We are doing just enough to get hot, instead of giving our all and boiling over, to be a great tool for Gods work. Our society today is in a habit of doing just enough to get by (grades, work, dieting), and getting the mediocre rewards from that. But if we were willing to do one degree more, how much more rewarding would it be.

So I am ready to give that one degree, because I don't want to be just hot water.

Come Undone

So if you haven't got the latest from Jackson Waters, you can get it on iTunes. (or if you aren't into iTunes, head to WalMart, Target, or Best Buy)

If you don't have it yet, you are missing out. it is a GREAT cd.

Wedding Pictures

Tornados and A Wedding...Just another Saturday

So, this weekend started off normal. I woke up (at about ten) and did laundry. Made a Walmart run with a friend (he needed laundry detergent) and watched a movie. Just an ordinary Saturday morning.

That was until the weather started to go crazy. I got a knock on my door (notice I said knock, but it was more like a pounding that scared the crap out of me) and the person on the other side said that they were evacutating the dorms to the ground floor of the UC and that we needed to go fast.

About twenty minutes later, we were back in the dorms and I desided to take a shower (I knew that the weather wasn't far from over and I knew that Jack and Karen's wedding was at six and if something else happened I needed to be ready). Well half way through shaving my legs, an RA said they were evacuating again, so I got out, dried off, threw on my sweats and ran (drove) back to the UC. This time the wait was much longer, about an hour and a half. It was five o'clock and with the wedding an hour away I decided to take things into my own hands.

I walked up to the Campus officer and asked if we could please go to our dorms and grab our clothes (I was laying on the charm thick, a girls gotta do what a girls gotta do). He said he would give us five minutes to grab everything out of our dorms that we needed, but we had to change somewhere else. So the five of us (Me, lindsey, Stephanie, Harmony, and Emily) piled in my car and ran to our dorms, grabbed our stuff and headed for the church (this was at 5:15 and it was about 5:20 when we reached the church). Just let me say that at 5:45 we looked hot. And it is not easy for five girls to get ready that fast, btut we did it with style.

The wedding was beautiful. Karen's dress was breath taking. The ceremony was great. It had its moments. The cell phone that started to go off in the middle of the vows (don't people learn?) Two candles fell from the holders (but they didn't start a fire, which was good). Karen did some quick thinking when her and Jack couldn't get the unity candle to light and she had one of the groomsmen to grab one of those that had fallen and exchanged it with the one they couldn't get to light. And I guaruntee you that there was not one dry eye in the house when Rob pronounced them husband and wife.

All in all today was eventful and it is a day that I will never forget. And guess who caught the bouque? Looks like I'm the next one to get married.

**Pictures coming soon**

When God Calls...Respond (what I learned in Waco, TX)

So, God really taught us a lot last weekend and I want to share with ya'll (my faithful readers) what he taught us.

When we heard about this missions conference, we thought that we knew exactaly what we were going to get. Little did we know what we were getting into. As soon as we walked in the doors, there was this air about it that just didn't feel right. But we went ahead and gave it the benefit of the doubt. After the first session Friday night, the second Saturday morning and then the breakout that afternon, we had enough. We just knew that the conference wasn't where we needed to be.

Break 1: Let me take a break here in my story to explain to you something. This killed me. I was one of the ones pushing to go to the conference and when it turned out to be what it was, I thought that I had let everyone down. I thought that I had brought the group to Waco for nothing.

Then it happened. Rob asked me to see if I could find a church that had a Saturday night service. So like any good college student, I googled it. Highland Baptist church came up in the search (the only church in Waco with a Saturday night service). Their service started at six, so we loaded up and went. As soon as we walked in the doors, we knew that HBC was exactally where we needed to be. They welcomed us like we had been there for years. Doug (the assistant college minister) brought the message. The title of his sermon, Call and Response. God calls (he initiates it) and we respond. He said that God sometimes calls us places sometimes to get us where he really wants us to be.

Break 2: Wow, this is exactally what I needed to hear. Our trip to Waco started out at the conference (how God got us there) and ended at Highlad Baptist Church (where God really wanted to takes us).

So at the end of the service the pastor got up and said that he didn't know who we were, but he wondered if he could pray for us. So we went up to the front and Rob told them our story. It turns out that their church had been debating wheather or not to keep the Saturday night service going. So not only did they bless us, but God used us to answer some of their questions.

All of this happened because God called, and we were willing to respond.

Super Bowl Prediction

So, Super Bowl XLI is this Sunday (Feb 4) and it is promised to be a good one. I will be the first to say that i have no ties to either team. So I figured that I will be very impartial in my desision of who wins the big one.

The Bears have the longest streak between Super Bowl appearences and are realdy for action. The bears seem to bring a potant deffence, but they have a young quarterback who has been shown to crack under pressure.

That is why I am going with the Colts in this one. They are coming off a dramatic win against the Patriots (who were chosen to win the games by the way). Their defense might not be as strong as the Bears, but their offence seems to have one thing the bears don't, Payton Manning. Payton has been known to rally from deficit and has the most game winning last quarter drives in the last ten years. I want the Colts to win because I don't want Payton to end up like Dan Marino and be one of the best quarterbacks of all time and nit have a ring.

GO COLTS!!!!

Just Been Thinking

I have been thinking a lot lately (yeah, I know a HUGE shock). Some of the stuff going on in my mind right now are a bunch of ramblings, but some of it is really deep stuff so I guess I am asking for help, advice, really anything.

Along with everything that has been going on lately, I have really been questioning why I believe what I believe and do I really know what I believe? My whole life I have been taught who God is. I have been taught that he sent Jesus to die for me, and that if I asked for him, he would change ny life. But the question that I have been fighting is "Is that deep enough?" I know that I believe in God. I know that he sent Jesus to die for me and that I have recieved him in my heart. But does my faith rely on those that have taught me and if they were to fall, would that make me fall?

That is my fear, but that is what I have been spending the last few days contemplating. I have delved into the word and have searched my heart to find exactaly where I stand. So I ask for prayer, wisdom and suport in this time of soul searching.

Jackson Waters @ UAM

We over here at UAM were givin a real treat last night. Jackson Waters gave a live concert on our campus and it was amazing. I love their music so much. If you haven't heard of them than you are truely missing out on something great.

David (lead singer, guitar, keyboard)
Brian (Bass)
Toby (Lead guitar)
Jesse (guitar, back up vocals)
Ryan (Drums)

Here is the link to their mySpace one more time. Check them out.

A Person I Admire

Robert Leonard is my Campus minister. These last couple of years, I have learned a lot about him and have learned a lot from him. He is a very Godly man, and he truly loves serving his creator with all he is.

Sunday morning during Sunday school, Rob taught from 1 Peter 1:13. Peter says to get ready and to keep your mind on heavenly things. Rob went on to talk about how we should never attach aorselves to anything here. We should not think of our stuff as anything that we would die if it was lost.

Little did he know, that at that very moment (or shortly there after) someone was in his house taking his stuff. Rob's house was broken into while we were at church. He lost a lot of his stuff, but they didn't take the thing that he treasured most, his faith in God to get him through.

Rob came to church Sunday night, just as normal as ever. He talked to us about what had happened and how he felt about it. His composure about he situation just reaffirms everything that he had talked about that morning. This whole situation makes me respect and admire him more. Love ya Rob!

Off to a CRAZY Start

School has officially started and I think that I am going to go insane this semester (I know that i have put thsi load on myself this semester, but it is going to be a rough ride). My classes started bright and early on Wednesday morning with Calculus 3, and it will be the last egight oclock class that I will have to take. After Cal 3 I had Gen Chem 2 and that was a great class. Tuesady once again started with Cal 3, and then I had History of Math and Linear Algebra all three back to back to back (in the same class room). And on top of all that, I went to the doctor on Wed. and found out that I have an upper respitory infection and am on antibiotics right now.

The only good thing about starting classes this early is that we have a three day weekend because of Martin Luther King Day. So for me, it is a weekend of lounging with friends and watching movies.

Passion 07 Picture Book

So Passion all started with a project called Touch Atlanta where everyone attending was asked to bring a towel and a pair of socks:

It was really cool to run into (or get hunted down) by those that i have met throughout the years doing summer missions.
I enjoied getting to hang out with my campus minister, Rob:
The powers of the best family group in the striped blue community group unite:

The had the Passion 06 graffiti was on display:
We were the luckiest grou ever, Shane Everret (of Shane and Shane) was our worship leader:

There were so many people there:

That I couldn't fir them all in one frame:
The CNN Center was home to our break time: The Omni Hotel was home to our community group:
The GWCC was where the Go center was located:

Talk about a great speaker, John Piper was awesome:
And who doesn't like Beth?: My friend Camie (Who couldn't go) asked me to buy her a brick for the Do something now campaign

This year's graffiti wall:
Bro. Chad's contribution to the wall
The best family group ever:

And that was Passion 07 at a glance.