Struggles...

I have not posted on here in awhile.  I remember when I first started this blog.  Everyday (or at least once a week) I was posting things about my life.  Then the 'new' wore off and it became a chore to get on the blog and share about my ideas and lesson learned.  I want to get better about blogging, but I don't want to just write.  I want to share what is going on in my head.  So I need to share what I have been struggling with lately.

Lately I have felt that something in my life is missing.  I get up, go to work, come home for dinner and then I go to sleep.  Then I wake up and do it all aver again.  Day after day, week after week.  The only exceptions have been on Sundays.  I felt lost.  I felt alone.  I was deep.  Then I read Psalm 13:1-4 and it put everything I was feeling into words.

"How long, O Lord, will you forget me?  Forever?  How long will you hide your face from me?  How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart?  How long will my enemy triumph over me?  Look at me and answer, O Lord my God.  Give light to my eyes or I will sleep in death; my enemy will say, "I have over come him," and my foes will rejoice."

I was broken.  It was like this passage was in here just for me.  I went searching, and I found a bible study that my church was having.  The title "Stuck".  If there was one word that described me at this time in my life, that was it.  So I went to check it out.  It was exact ally what I needed.

I realized going through the study with my small group, that I was stuck in many aspects of my life.  I started to peel back layers of my heart and some were hard to deal with.  I had to bring to the forefront things that for a long time I was trying to forget.  This is where my stuck places were centered around, and I finally asked for the Lord to take it from me.  One of my group members, Jill, gave me a whole new outlook on my past.  She said that the bible says that He will never give us more than we can handle.  She said that she counts it an honor that God looked at her and said "She is strong enough for what I am about to give her."  I never thought about it like that.  That God looked at me and thought,"Amanda is strong enough to handle what is about to happen" I was finally able to let go, and I am finally free.  My small group helped me with it.  I went back to Psalm 13, this time focusing on verse 5:

"But I trust in your unfailing love, my heart rejoices in your salvation.  I will sing to the Lord, for he has been good to me."

I don't look back anymore.  I am going to trust in His unfailing love and rejoice in the salvation that I have been given through His son.  I am not Stuck anymore.  I am ready to see what else the Lord has in store for me.