Back to the Heart of Worship

I read somewhere that if you hear a song 20 times, you stop thinking about the words. The book went on to say that this is affecting our worship to God. I would have to agree. I go to church and the music starts. Usually I don't even have to look at the screens, the words are already coming out. The melodies and harmonies are finding their way through my vocal chords. Then my mind starts to wander "What am I going to do after church today? What will the students be like tomorrow? Man I hope I get that job. Etc." Is that what my worship looks like to God. Can you even consider that worship? Even though I am singing the song, the words are not coming from my heart.

Yesterday I decided to do something about it. I grabbed a notebook and wrote the very words that you have read so far. I decided that I really needed to think about the way I worship. I have started writing down the words that I sing all the time and then figuring out if I really want to pledge that to the Lord of all.

I want to get back to the heart of worship. I don't want to go through the motions anymore. I want to worship in Spirit and in Truth.

A Night Of Greenbeans

Kids' Camp ended a little over a week ago. Usually this is the last time that I get to see all my friends from the Northwest. I say goodbye to all the kids, the counselors, the staff, and usually there are hopes for seeing each other again in a year when we all converge on the Latvian Camp we call home for a week.

Luckily for me, the 'year' came rather quickly. As I was starting on my journey home on July 4 through the air, another journey had already begun by land. Pastor Jamie, Kim, Chelsea, and Phoebe were on vacation. The Greenings were headed to my neck of the woods.

We ate dinner at Two Senoritas in Mt. Pleasant. It was here that I heard first hand of the upcoming Light Bulb Apocalypse. We had a great visit, a lot of laughs. Somehow we decided that we were going to go to a movie. This was great for me, I have a rule that I have to spent more time in a place then the time it takes to drive there and back. On the way to the movie, we had to stop and get coffee for Jamie's mom's house. We stopped at Super 1 (apparently our first mistake) where they didn't have the 'classic roast' so we got Colombian, but we did grab a package of light bulbs (which made our mistake not seem as bad). On the way to the Movie Theater I learned a new meaning for 'Cheese'. Then we watched Car's 2 (which I loved again).

So now it's another year before I get to hang out with the Greenings again. But until then, last night will have to hold me over until then.

Some Pool Side Faith

Once again I have been granted the privilege of serving as the lifeguard at Kids’ Camp. Being able to work with the kids, building on relationships and starting new ones has been a blessing that will last a life time. I enjoy every minute that I spent at Camp Kursa each year and each year, I get more out of that time.

This week, our theme was “Driven by Faith in Jesus”. Each chapel time we delved into who God is and what is means to really be driven by our faith in him. It just so happened that my personal study each morning was learning about the Holy Spirit and how to trust in Him. That being said, Faith has been on my mind a lot this week.

Tuesday afternoon during pool time, I really started watching the kids. When I announced it was time for swim time to start, some just ran and jumped in. I call these kids Plungers. They didn’t know if the water was cold or warm, they just knew that I said go and they wanted to be in the water, so they jumped. Then there were the Toe Touchers. When I said it was time to get in, they ran to the stairs and put their feet in. Then after a while they might get wet to their waists. Then their choice must be mad “Do I keep going, do I go back, or do I just stay here where I am comfortable?”

As I was watching this, I couldn’t help but think how much this resembles Christians and their response to the Spirit. The Plungers are those who hear the Spirit say go and then run and jump. They know that once they get there it may be hard, but they also know that the Spirit is going with them and they are willing to follow (no matter what), their faith is strong. The Toe Touchers are those who hear the Spirit say go and then respond by only going a little ways to try it out, then they may go deeper. But all too often Toe Touchers stay where they are comfortable or they even give up all together. I want to have the faith of a Plunger, but I tend to find myself acting like a Toe Toucher. However there is hope for us Toe Touchers.

Going back to the pool, after awhile, I saw pastor Jim go over to those at the stairs. He would ask them if they wanted to go for a swim, and they trusted him. The kids, one by one, would jump on his back and he would swim them around the pool. The smiles on their faces told it all, they were experiencing the land of the Plungers and loving every minute of it. To Toe Touchers, those Plungers who are willing to come aside with reassurance and encouragement are priceless.

I know a lot of plungers (a few right here serving at Camp). I also know a few Toe Touchers. My prayer for the Toe Touchers is that God will continue to show you more of his Spirit and that your faith will continue to grow until you are ready to jump in (head or feet first). For the Plungers, I pray that your faith remains strong. I pray that every once and awhile you’ll turn back to a Toe Toucher and say, “Come on in and swim with me, the waters fine.”

God is Awesome, Still

As I sit here and reflect over the last week, all I can say is that GOD IS AWESOME!

This past week I was given the privilege to return to the northwest and serve the OBA during kid’s camp. When I had agreed to return, I thought that I was set. I would have a job by the end of the school year, then come to kid’s camp, and then return home to prepare for the school year to come. And that is when things seemed to start falling apart. The job that I thought would be offered to me was reluctantly given to someone else. Then it seemed like no one else would hire me. I almost called Pastor Dan to tell him that I wouldn’t be able to come.

Then it occurred to me. God had opened too many doors and opportunities for this trip to become possible: He provided airfare, the money for my lifeguard certification, and many other small things that I knew that I was supposed to be at Kid’s Camp this year. So I came.

It wasn’t until I arrived at Kamp Kursa that I actually felt at peace with that decision. Our staff devotions each morning were focused on 1 John 4:16-5:2 with vs. 18 being the main focus “There is no fear in love; but perfect perfect love drives out fear.” When Pastor Jim had us read those words, I began to list all the fears I had: no job, regret, is he the one, rejection, and many more. Why do I fear about all of these things, could it be that I still have yet to grasp the perfect love of God. That is when I met John.

John is eight years old. He has had a rough life. He is being raised in a one parent home where his dad is not present. I know what that feels like. My mom left my brothers and I eleven years ago and our dad is around, but at his convenience. John got in trouble a few times on the first day, so I thought that I would hang out with him for a while. We did crafts together. He hung out by me at the pool while I was fulfilling my ‘lifeguard duties’. We ate dinner together and sat together at Chapel. The next morning we started again; missions, craft, lunch, chapel, pool, dinner, campfire. We had a great time together. John and I had some amazing conversations. He is a smart kid. I learned a little about him, while he learned a little about me. He kept saying over and over again how all he wanted was the other kids to like him, that he wanted a friend. I wanted him to know that I loved him just like he was. But most of all, I wanted him to know that God loved him even more than I did. God created John and has a purpose for his life.

Right now I think I can honestly say that I have begun to understand the “perfect love that casts out fear” because God revealed it to me through His little child. For the three days that I got to know and love on John, God was showing me the love that he gives freely to me. I am not worried anymore. If I get a job when I get home that’s great. And yet if I do not get a job, that is fine too. I cannot look at the time that I spent at Kid’s Camp this year and think that God didn’t have a purpose for me this summer.

There are many Johns in this world. I hope that everyone get the opportunity to learn from one of them as I have.

A Little Wisdom From "When in Rome"

Last night, Peggy and I watched When in Rome. In the movie Beth's sister gets married in Rome and wants her sister to be the maid of honor. She flies over and while at the wedding meets the grooms best man, Nick and they hit it off very well. Then she witnesses a kiss between Nick and a random girl and thinks her chance for love is gone. So she sits on the Fountain of Love and yells at the statue then pulls out five coins. Each coin that she 'rescues' belongs to a man who falls in love with her.

At the end of the movie she realizes she is in love with Nick, but doesn't want the love if he doesn't really love her. Then she says a line that hit home fore me:

"If I have taken away his will, it is not really love."

A big discussion that I have had a lot lately is why God gives us a choice when he knows that a lot of us will not choose to love him. It is like what Beth says in the movie. If our will is not there, it is not real love. How would I feel when I have been married for 25 years and on my anniversary my Husband knocks on the door with a dozen roses and box of candy and says that he got them for me because he had to. Or if I open the door and he says,"I love you so much that I wanted to show you by getting you these". The latter would receive a hug and kiss while the former would probably receive a slammed door in the face.

I think that this is how God feels. He doesn't want us coming to him and worshiping him because we have to, but because we want to. By giving us a choice, our love becomes more meaningful and valuable.

Thank you God for giving us a choice. It makes me realize not only how much my love for You, but how great Your love is for us that you sent Jesus to die for us knowing that most of the world would not choose You. I love you.

AMEN

Job Opportunity???

While hanging out at th Moysiuk home, I decided that I would go and take a nap around 12:30. About 3 I received a phone call from the principal of Jame Bowie Middle School in Simms, TX informing me that she had noticed my application and that I was the only applicant that had math experience and asked if I would be interested in an eighth grade math position for next fall. I told her that I was and she asked if I could come in for an interview.

Here en-lies the problem. I am in Olympia, WA until July 13. When I said yes to returning to work up here, I thought that I had a job lined up and that I wouldn't need to worry about being in the Northwest for a few weeks. Well as school came to a close, a job was not offered. Being a human, I became worried when day after day there was no offer and no returns on phone calls or emails. My fear was to arrive in Olympia and then get a call about a job that required me to be in Texarkana. So I put everything in God's hands. I knew that coming to Olympia was a huge risk, but God had opened the door very wide and if I was supposed to have a job next fall, HE would provide on for me.

Back to the call...after she asked me to come in for an interview, I informed her that I was in Olympia, WA and that I would not be returning until July 13. She then let me know that the school was hoping to fill the position by next week. But if they hadn't filled it by the 13th she would call me when I got back. If that is where God wants me to be, the job will still be open after July 13. Until then, there is nothing else that I can do.

God, I come to you now with this job opportunity. If this is where I am supposed to go next fall, then I am willing. But if not, then fill the position before I return home. I am not going to worry about anything. I am giving this to you and seeking your wisdom and guidance. I know that I have slid away from you lately, but I am turning to you. You know what is best for me and your will is what I want. If this job is not for me, I pray that you provide another. But for right now, it is all for You. I am taking it out of my hands and putting it into Yours.

AMEN

Tumwater Falls

it never ceases to amaze me how beautiful God's creation really is. And I got to experience that first had yesterday while I was out with Rebecca and Ms. Peggy. Since the planned car-wash got canceled, we drove a round a little bit. After going to the store and then the farmers market down town, they took me to Tumwater Falls.

This little stretch of about a quarter of a mile is beautiful. The vegetation is great and the water is powerful. I could have stayed there the rest of the day, but we had to leave. I had a great time and I can't wait to see what tomorrow brings.